You know, joy is a funny thing. It is so hard to describe and separate from other emotions, even though, by definition, it seems so simple.

Joy: “a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.”

When I hear the word joy, I always think back to the vacation bible school song, “Down in My Heart” by George Willis Cooke.

I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy

Down in my heart

Down in my heart

Down in my heart

I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy

Down in my heart

Down in my heart to stay

And I’m so happy

So very happy

I’ve got the love of Jesus in my heart

And I’m so happy

So very happy

I’ve got the love of Jesus in my heart

With the 2013-14 basketball season approaching, I find myself planning my holiday tournaments. In doing so, I am reminded of, and reflect on, some painful memories. One thing I remember is that about a year ago I wrote out some goals for my life. I wrote these goals in July 2012, and I still read through them from time to time.

You might think a newly single woman would list financial goals, husband and children goals, or even work goals as top priorities. And while I had some of those on my list, the item I placed at the top of my list was “find my joy.”

At 35 years of age in 2012, I realized that for the first time in my life, I didn’t have joy. I could smile every day, do my job, pay the bills and put on the happy face, but I didn’t have inner joy and I knew it.

So I made it a goal to find my joy. And what I can report a little over a year later is that I am sitting on a train writing my blog at this very moment…and “I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart. Down in my heart to stay!!!”

And crazy enough, people notice!! Here are a few comments I’ve heard lately:

“It is so good to see you happy – you deserve it.” – from a friend

“You know when I saw you a year ago, I wasn’t sure you were going to make it. It is so good to see your smile (the real one) back.” – from a referee

“How are you so happy?  Are you always this happy?” – from a work colleague

So here is my message to each referee: Joy is pursued. Joy lives deep within, but definitely noticed on the outside. I believe coaches, players, colleagues and commissioners know if you have joy.  I also believe that it is not external situations that have the power over our joy – we do. And I searched for it in my soul, in my self, and in my God. I recently lost a colleague who decided she no longer had any joy. She took a dramatic step that affected everyone around her. I wish I had known her well enough to share my joy with her.

Today, I challenge you in the following ways:

• Set a goal to find your joy if you have lost it.
• Share your joy if you have it.
• And help others find theirs if they can’t quite find it.

Listed below are some books that I read during my time of healing and pursuit of my personal joy, in case you are searching:

• 40 Days to a Joy-Filled Life by Tommy Newberry
• The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch
• Bend, Not Break by Ping Fu
• The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John C. Maxwell
• When He Leaves (for those who may be going through a divorce) by Kari West and Noelle Quinn
• An Invisible Thread by Laura Schroff and Alex Tresniowski
• The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren