You gain streng…

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience
in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
– Eleanor Roosevelt

Last year I faced something I had never even thought to fear.  Now I have the strength, courage, and confidence to reflect on my success and personal growth that came as a result of the experience.  God is good ALL THE TIME!

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Perception is Reality

As a continuance to my last blog post, I want to reflect on one of the seven tips outlined by Dorie Clark, author of Reinventing You: Define Your Brand, Imagine Your Future when she was interviewed by Dave Kerpen, CEO, Likeable Local.

 Today’s topic: Understand How You’re Currently Perceived

 I worked a camp a few years ago as a clinician (or teacher).  The commissioner who ran and hired from the camp published a cumulative rating of the campers at the conclusion of the camp. He numerically ranked each official who attended, from best to worst.  The ranking took into consideration each clinician’s individual ratings and comments. This information was then used to compile an individual score for the clinician that allowed the commissioner to rank each individual with their peers.  Every year, campers would be astonished and shocked at their ranking and comments.  I found it fascinating to see how some campers were completely unaware of their status among their peers and boss.

 In the corporate world, I have seen companies do similar evaluations with something called a 360 degree review of employee performance.  In this situation, an annual review is conducted, not only from your boss, but also from your peers and subordinates within the company.  This full circle evaluation approach is sometimes alarming, but it is almost always helpful in an employee’s advancement. Of course, you have to be willing to accept the perceptions of the individuals in this circle and work to improve where weaknesses are identified. Unfortunately, in the officiating profession, the 360 degree kind of evaluation process doesn’t work as well since we are all independent contractors competing for the same positions and games.

 In my experience, officials who work in different parts of the country or in different leagues than I, have been the best evaluators of my ability (because there is no competition between us for advancement).  I am so thankful for people like Melissa, Jeneanne, John, and Charles who have provided brutally honest truths for me along the way.  When you find someone who will take the time to give you feedback, you need to LISTEN.  The insight will make you better.

 I am also very grateful for one boss in my day job who is always telling me what he “thinks” of me.  It isn’t necessarily complimentary, but it is always honest. His perception of me provides a gut check to see what vibes I am giving out to my co-workers and bosses.  He tells me if I appear sad or happy, content or searching.  He tells me if I am unfairly judging a colleague on their productivity.  His comments often lead to great reflection, evaluation, and sometimes reinvention of my attitude and behavior.  I hope you can be so lucky as to have someone in your officiating or professional career who will be so candid—someone who believes in you and wants to see you succeed.

 So let’s get real here and answer a few questions.

  • Do you know how you are really perceived? And, do you like the perception your peers, boss or family have of you?
  • Do they think you are open to constructive criticism?
  • Do you know your rules? Are you a good partner? Are you pleased with where you are in professional career or officiating career?
  • What is most important to the commissioner whom you want to notice you? And what qualities get you hired in your dream league?
  • Is looking the part really important but you know you are 15 pounds overweight?
  • What can you do to affect people’s perception of you?

 Accepting the perceptions others have of you is the first step to reinventing yourself. Maybe your response is that you like who you are. While that may be true, have you reached your final destination or are you still climbing the ladder of advancement?

Personally, I have not reached my destination. You will see me climbing the ladder in all my suits – from Michael Kors to Cliff Keen  (referee clothing brand).  I want continued self evaluation, and continued growth and reinvention.  I challenge you to answer these questions for yourself.  Then stay tuned for my next post, where I’ll explore a couple more  tips for reinventing yourself. Keep in mind this is not an overnight transformation; it’s a lifetime process.

← Back

Thank you for your response. ✨

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Can you reinvent yourself?

In college one of my suite mates, Robin, used to call me random.  She would say I had the most random interests, jobs, and friends.  Just last week I met John, and he told me I was the most random person he had ever met.  I don’t believe I am random by definition, lacking a definite plan, purpose or pattern, but I believe I am passionate about a lot of things (as you know from my last blog )and I do not fear change or the unknown.

The reality is, that if John’s perception of me is that I am random, and I want to change that perception, I must understand his point of view.

Let’s consider my career path. Not yet in my 40’s, I have been COO of a commercial real estate investment company, owned a residential building business, been Publisher of an accounting technology magazine and website, and taught gymnastics.  Today, I am a Vice President in an online advertising company, am the managing partner in a start-up, and referee basketball. RANDOM?  Maybe, but rather than considering me to be one of no plan,  I want your perception of me to be that I have taken opportunities to reinvent myself professionally. (You like that marketing spin?)

Growing from gymnastics coach to publisher of a technology magazine takes some obvious reinventing. But as a referee, a career of more than 15 years, I have had to reinvent myself many times to accomplish my goals and work for more than 13 different supervisors.  This year I will spend at least three summer weekends at officiating camps.  As I have shared earlier, camps are necessary today for officials who want to improve their ability, increase their schedule with a particular assigner, or get hired in a new league.

At the last camp I attended, a fellow official was telling me he learned how to be a “good camper” and told me he was mentoring another official on the do’s and don’ts of attending a camp. He said she needed to change the perception some people had of her. She, in essence, needed to reinvent herself. 

I was reminded of our conversation after reading a blog on Linked In by Dave Kerpen, CEO, Likeable Local.  He interviewed Dorie Clark, author of Reinventing You: Define Your Brand, Imagine Your Future. He asked Dorie for seven tips for reinventing yourself professionally.

I would like to take these seven tips and explore them in the next few posts through the lens of a referee.

1. Understand how you’re currently perceived

2. Testdrive your path

3. Look for mentors.

4. Don’t be afraid to go backwards temporarily.

5. Use social media to build connections

6. Show what you know

7. Get a wingman

Before my next post I want you to consider Have you reinvented yourself professionally? Do you want to reinvent yourself as a referee or an executive? Which of these seven tips will be the most difficult for you?

 

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The friend in m…

The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.
Ulysses S. Grant

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Lenten Season Reflections

In the midst of Lenten season, it seems only right for me to think about my time and how I spend it.  For those who may not know, Lent is the six-week period between Ash Wednesday and Easter observed by Christians for the purpose of preparing the believer through prayer, penance, repentance, almsgiving and self-denial.  This year, I have chosen to focus on prayer (spending more time in prayer) and self-denial (not consuming any alcohol). For those who may want to know more – there are links at the bottom to direct you.

At first glance, many people think I spend all my time working. And I must confess that I LOVE to work.  In my day job, I love making the list, chasing the deal, selling my value, troubleshooting the problems, mentoring young people, reporting to the boss, and ending the day with a huge sigh of completion and satisfaction.  In officiating, I love packing the bag, traveling with partners, saying hello to the game administration team at the gym, running the court while making instantaneous decisions, defending my calls, admitting my errors (if I make them, of course), and then making the long haul back home.  My adrenaline just rose while I was writing that. Dang, I do love the thrill of the job.

Another “work” area in my life gives me as much pleasure and thrill, relationship building and nurturing.  I love staying connected with my friends and my family, and I am so abundantly fortunate to have a career that allows me so many random opportunities to connect.  Admittedly, it would be easy to live a life like that of George Clooney’s character in Up In the Air, where he had no life outside of the hotels, airports, etc. But that just isn’t my style.  In fact, last month I flew to an airport about two hours out of the way so I could travel to a game with a woman in the officiating circle whom I dearly love.  I know she won’t be working games many more years. And WOW!, was I ever rewarded with friendship and conversation on that intentional, slightly inconvenient detour!

Last week, when I blew through Denver on the way to a game, I took the opportunity to connect with my aunt and my cousin and his family. I also made sure to spend some time with another friend–someone I mentored when she was in college and doing some officiating.  How precious and rewarding it is to hear of her continued studies to be a doctor. I treasure all the years of lunch conversations we have had.  This week, I have the pleasure of hosting a friend at my place while she is in town on business.

As you can see, staying connected is one of my favorite jobs in life. And yes, I do consider it a “job” because staying connected is “work” when you are on an airplane at least twice a week.  Still, the way I see it, today would be a wasted day if I don’t work on relationships with the same enthusiasm and diligence as I do my other jobs.  So, like other aspects of my life, I make a list.  If you make it on my list this week I will pray for you (remember, I am focusing on that), make contact with you, ask about your life, and “work” on our relationship.

During this Lenten season, I want to finish each day knowing that I didn’t waste it and that I deserve another one.   So I leave you with a statement (from a mentor) and a question (from my devotion) for self reflection:

Statement: Everyone has the same 24 hours in every day, it all depends on what you do with your time that determines your accomplishments.

Question: If you did not fulfill your purpose on this Earth today, why would God grant you another one?

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